OTSO.
Mala-demonyong ngiti ang ipinukol niya sa akin. It was the moment I knew I’m fucked. Bakit ba kasi ngayon ko pa naisipan na tumakaw? Bakit hindi na lang ako umarte?
“I’m sorry,” I cried. “Are you still in pain?” I asked in a sweet tone. “Let me see it,” I tried to hold him but he refused with a smirk on his face.
“You’re not going to fool me, Aleya!”
I laughed while crying. “Just kill me, Van. Just do it. I’m tired.”
“Do you think I’ll make your life easy?”
“How did this happen? At least, let me know what happened to you when that plane crashed. What happened to you when we thought you died?” hindi napigilang tanong ko. It was the only thing I’ve been dying to know.
“Hindi na kita…kilala…”
Van smiled at me. He has a blank expression and I felt like I am really talking to someone I actually don’t know. If I close my eyes, I would not believe that it was Van standing in front of me.
“Van died in that plane.”
“Indeed,” I nodded. “That’s why I wished you never came back. You should have never…” umiling ako. Tuloy-tuloy ang pag-agos ng luha ako at ramdam ko na rin ang pag-bigat ng hininga ko.
“You should have never come back because you ruin everything. You ruin the Van that I used to know…”
“Well, that’s exactly the plan,” makahulugang sabi niya. “I want to ruin Van Fel dela Torre.”
“It doesn’t make sense…”
“It will – damn!” he yelled as I kicked him again in his most sensitive part.
Dito na nagsimulang maging wild ang mga kasama niyang lalaki. Hindi sila armado ngunit hindi pa rin ako sigurado sa kakayahan nila kahit na marunong ako ng taekwondo. Alanganin pa rin ako dahil pinoprotektahan ko ang bata sa sinapupunan ko. Hindi ako pwedeng basta lumaban ng walang plano pero anong gagawin ko? It’s a dead end.
Nasa rooftop kami at makatatakas lamang ako kung tatalon ako dito. Sa ilang segundo pa na pananatili ko dito ay sigurado akong magiging okay na si Van dahil sinusubukan na niyang tumayo. Should I kick him again and again? I can’t do that for the third time.
Fuck.
It was maybe the adrenaline rush or maybe it was my desire that I started kicking the five boys. Van just gave an order to not let me go, but not to hurt me kaya naman they seem weak to me.
Mabuti na lang at wala silang nilabas na sandata at nakipagbugbugan lamang sila. Dehado ako kaya naman sinigurado ko na sa bawat pagsipa ko sa kanila ay nailalayo ko sila sa pintuan. Ramdam ko na ang pananakit ng tyan kaya naman binuhos ko na ang lahat ng lakas ko para sipain gumawa ng high kick. Alam kong hindi ko na sila kaya lalo na kapag nakabawi sila, well di naman sila ganoon kagaling pero malalaking tao sila kaya mabilis akong tumakbo sa pinto at isinara ito.
Wala akong nakitang kahit na anong pangharang kaya tumakbo agad ako sa elevator. Binasag ko ang fire extinguisher at hinampas sa isang elevator button. Eksakto namang bumukas ang isa pang elevator.
“Damn! Hurry up!” dasal ko.
Hawak ko ang fire extinguisher at naghanda sa pagbubukas ng elevator dahil baka sinabihan ito nila Van na pigilan ako. Thankfully, wala pa namang humarang sa akin hanggang sa makalabas ako ng hotel.
Where would I go? Where…
Pinara ko ang unang taxi na nakita ko.
I can’t go back to our condo. Bre was there at wala kaming laban na dalawa. Jake? Jake is still not here? I’ve got other friends, but I can’t trust them. I can’t also trust the police or any authorities because I know Van. Kung tama rin ang hinala, they are really the reason why my parents died in that crash.
And the only person I can count on would be Marco, so I went to him.
It was a two-hour drive from his house. I see no sign of Van and his company following me kaya nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Well, for just an hour dahil nawala rin ang saya ko nang makita ko si Van sa labas ng gate nila Marco.
“So, you’re going to see Marco?”
“How did you get here…”
“I used the fucking copter, Aleya. Do you really think hindi ko alam kung saan ka pupunta? I know all your friends and sorry it seems Marco is not around,” tumuro siya sa bahay nila Marco. The lights were turned off, but I still tried hitting the door bell.
“Van, let me go…” pagmamakaawa ko. “You’re just hurting me and if you really do love me you won’t hurt me…” I sobbed. It was the only thing I’m good at. To cry every second of every day. I am so tired that if he kills me it’s okay.
“Kill me…” I pleaded. “Maybe, that would be great…”
He stared at me. “That’s so easy, Aleya.”
“ANO PA BANG GUSTO MO?” I screamed. “ANO PA BA? HINDI KO NA NAIINTINDIHAN, VAN! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? TELL ME!”
“DON’T LEAVE ME!” he sobbed and I was…fuck! Is he acting again?
“Don’t leave…you’re the only I have, so don’t leave. I am only doing this because I don’t want you to leave…” dahan-dahan siyang naglakad papunta sa akin.
I wanted to walk backwards but I felt like my feet was glued from the ground.
“You’re making me leave by hurting me…”
“I just love you…so much…” he caressed my cheeks and kissed my forehead. “So, please, don’t leave me. Please…I will forget everything that happened today, just don’t leave…”
I stood there, not knowing what to do.
Until, someone answered it for me.
“She’s going to leave you.”
“Marco…”
I finally got the leap of faith that Van loved to kill every second.
“You’re not going anywhere…”
Agad akong hinatak ni Marco nang maglabas ng baril si Van.
“Van…” I reacted. “Calm down…that’s…”
“Aleya, just stay there and wait for Bre,” bulong ni Marco. “Don’t do anything, just stay behind me…”
“If I can’t have you, I’ll kill you! I’ll kill both of you!”
“Go, then. Kill us,” Marco urged which made me want to slap him in the face especially when he said, “After all, Aleya doesn’t love you. Go, kill us, and make us the modern Romeo and Juliet.”
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked in gritted teeth. “Are you really trying to kill us?”
“Van…”
Marco cut me off. “It’s not your baby.”
My jaw dropped.
Marco got to be kidding me. Is he really trying to make Van kill us?
“What?” nakakunot-noo na tanong ni Van. He looked at me waiting for me to say something. “Is that true?” Van felt weak for a second. “IS THAT TRUE? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?”
“Of course, why would he choose to go to me instead of staying?”
Van was speechless. I could feel how he loosen his grip on the gun he was pointing at us and how he tried to stop his tears that slowly dripped from his eye.
“Say something,” he stared at me with his warm gaze I almost forgot he had. “Say something, Aleya.”
“Go! Make us the modern Romeo and Juliet,” I said, trying hard not to choke. Seeing him in pain makes me want to hug me, but I know…and I learned.
“Is that the reason why you don’t want to marry me?” ibinaba niya ang baril. “Is that it?”
“Why did you change?” pag-iiba ko ng topic. “Why?”
“I love you, Aleya.”
I bit my lower lip, but tears won’t just stop flowing.
“You hurt me more than you love me, Van,” I shook my head. “I’m giving up, so let us go in peace.”
“Is that what you want?”
I slowly walked towards him. Hinawakan at pinigilan ako ni Marco.
I stared at Van and memorized every feature of his until I felt like it was no longer Van. It’s the same face, but it doesn’t make sense because I can no longer feel the old Van or maybe I finally realize my worth.
Mahal ko siya pero mas kailangan kong mahalin ang sarili ko.
Kaya ko pang bigyan siya ng isang pagkakataon pero mas kaya kong bigyan ang sarili ko ng pagkakataon na maging masaya.
Pwede pa, pwede pa siyang magbago pero mas pwede ko bang baguhin ang takbo ng buhay ko.
Pinili ko na siya noon pero natuto na akong piliin ang sarili ko araw-araw.
“Yes,” I nodded. “Let me go, Van.”
He smiled at me.
“Okay,” he tilted his head a little and instantly raised his gun. “I’ll let you go in peace unless I kill Marco…”
My lips parted in shock. My instinct instantly told me to cover for Marco.
I heard a series of gunshots until everything went blank.
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