Miserable at Best (#1 Playlist Series)

B.

But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright.

The eyes are the most fascinating part of the body. We rely on them every day, yet we don’t really know much about them. There are a thousand reasons why I find the eyes the most wonderful organs in our body, but my favorite of all, is everytime the light touches the iris of my eyes every day.

The ability to wake up and see the beauty of the world after a long deep sleep has always been one of the miracles we often took for granted. I hate to admit it, but it’s true.

I’m not a morning person. I hate waking up in the morning and battling with the cold water to wake my senses. But, being a high school student whose school lies far away from their house, morning is the greatest enemy, especially when the alarm hits five o’ clock.

The breakfast was already ready when I went inside the kitchen after preparing myself for the day. The housekeepers were the ones who prepared our breakfast, which includes: pancake, fresh milk, bacon, eggs, and lots of fruits that I never really bothered eating. For the record, I want soup for breakfast. And, breakfast stopped being a must since my brother died. He was always the one who scolded me for not eating one, now that he’s gone, I miss him every time I wake up. Eating breakfast alone makes me sad too.

My parents were still asleep in their room and the dawn was almost breaking when I got outside of our house. I don’t drive, so I usually ride the bus going to school which is a two-hour trip, excluding the traffic.

Totally sucks!

I am so grateful to the one who invented music because I would literally die of boredom without it, even though I only listen to one band which is the Mayday Parade — an American rock band from Florida that I had discovered because of my deceased brother – Zon.

My inside cells were already dancing to the beat of the song Miserable at Best as I watched the bus slowly move across the roads. It’d definitely take a while before I reached the school.

The conductor kept on calling passengers without realizing the bus was already full. He couldn’t even smell his own breath while trying to cross between people standing in the middle of the bus.

Some motorists don’t know how to give way and act like they own the road. Traffic sucks! It’s an everyday struggle I would never get used to. I’m often caught in the traffic even if I woke up before five o’ clock, so I’m always doomed because my class starts at seven in the morning. It’s now thirty-minutes after seven.

I already missed the first class which is Math. My adviser, and also Math teacher, is probably cursing me right now because I’ve missed a lot of activities and quizzes for the first quarter.

Why is even math my first class? It’s not motivating, especially when I hate the subject. I’m one of those intelligent kiddos who never excelled in math. I was sleeping when God poured knowledge in Math.

“You’re late,” Charish, our class president, told me as soon as I stepped inside the room. “Our adviser is looking for you.” She handed me an envelope before going back to her seat.

I kept it inside my bag because I know it’s a letter to my parents. I need to go home early later and prepare for what they will say. I’m ready to be scolded, if that’s the only way for them to notice me again.

I died too when my brother died.

“Stuck in the traffic,” I replied. It’s my everyday reason that would make all my teachers roll their eyes.

“We told you, Zee. Get a home near here, so you’ll be able to attend our math class,” Gabriella, my best friend, uttered as soon as I sat in my chair.

She turned to me as she combed her long hair. Gab, her nickname, removed her eyeglass. She rolled at me which made her eyes narrowed even more.

“I’ll think about it,” I frowned. I actually thought about it since we left the town and moved into our current hometown. I thought I would be able to survive the distance, yet I was wrong.

“You can live with us,” Gab offered. “Our families are best of friends. At least, it’s only an hour drive.”

Gab turned to me and laid her chin on the back of his chair.

I was sitting in the back row, and she was in front of me. It has always been like that since seventh grade, for I am Zee Zamora, and she’s Gabriella Tan. Blame the alphabet for A will always be the first, and Z will always be the last. Sometimes I wish I could even sit in front, but I love the back row because I can pretend I’m listening when I’m not.

“Where’s Zack?” I asked Gab when I saw the vacant seat beside me. “I need to copy his math homework.”

Zack Zendaya is my guy best friend and my constant seatmate since seventh grade. He’s also close to Gab, so basically they’re my closest friends. He excelled in a lot of things, making people envy him, especially when he never put effort in studying at all. He’s that amazing!

“Football duties,” Gab answered.

“Oh, right,” I remembered. “Today’s the start of the orientation for varsity players. Why aren’t you there?”

Gab frowned. “I love volleyball, but I hate orientations. It’s only for freshies, so I decided to skip it. After all, I’m not the captain unlike Zack.”

“You got a point in there,” I said

“How about you?”

“I still need to get the certificate and approval before I could dive to the team again,” I sighed.

I was a part of the swimming varsity team, but I stopped last year due to a car accident. It didn’t only fractured my body physically, but also emotionally since my brother died and I lived.

He died saving me. There are times when I think if I am really worth saving.

The rest of the day went on with us – or maybe just me, pretending that I am listening to our lesson when my mind is floating somewhere. We finished mundane tasks until the bell rang, the sweetest music I always want to hear when I’m inside the classroom.

“Got to go to practice. Are you sure you don’t want my driver to drive you home?”

“It’s okay. I’m already used to commuting,” I answered.

“Duh! It’s tiring. You should ask for a driver,” she whined.

“I don’t need one,” I assured her. I never really needed one because my brother was always the one who picked me up after school. He died, and I had to learn how to commute, alone.

I cried the first time, but I saw things I’ve missed about life when I started to mingle with people who spend all their time riding on buses or taxis.

“Okay. Take care! Text me when you get home!” Gab waved and ran to the court as I headed to the gate.

I am not yet part of the varsity team, so I can go home early. The rest of the varsity players usually stay for the night training. Our school focuses not only on academics, but also when it comes to sports.

People were lined up while waiting for the bus. The last trip on my way home will arrive in twenty-minutes, so I still have time to spare. I sat on the vacant seat and browsed my phone.

“Uh,” I reacted. “Where’s my earphones?” I panicked.

I opened my bag and searched every pocket, but it’s not there. I used it during our sports class and I can’t remember if I put it inside my pocket, so I immediately went back to school.

Varsity teams were running when I passed by the oval. I caught a glimpse of Gab and she tried to call me, but I didn’t have time to stop. I ran as fast as I could until I saw a group of nuns walking towards the church. And, I know I have to stop when the bell rings for Angelus.

I spent the entire minute thinking of my earphones while the prayer still continued. Studying in a Dominican School made me hate twelve o’ clock, three o’ clock, and six o’ clock. I’m not that religious or maybe I started hating it when He let my brother die.

Finally, the prayer is done.

The sun was already set when I reached the hallway of our building. Only a few students were scattered in the building for club activities or projects. I know my classmates already headed home, so I was really surprised when I saw him inside the room.

Aae Agoncillo.

Aae was leaning on the teacher’s table. His right hand was tossing the hardball up in the air while his left hand was holding the baseball bat. He caught the ball in mid-air when he sensed my presence.

He turned to me with his plain yet gentle look. His almond-eyes were always inviting since I first laid my downturned eyes on them. It felt like I’d seen them before. They’re enticing that I always thought they don’t fit his serious look.

I made a smile that didn’t reach my eye and ignored him as I always did. We never spoke. We never had the chance to talk about stuff unless school-related. We acknowledged each other by a simple nod and a slight smile every time we met in the hallway or inside the room.

He seemed distant towards others and usually spent his vacant hours reading novels. I also loved to read books. If I am only friendly enough to talk to him, we’d be close. But, A is a mile away from Z. Think of the alphabet. There’s no chance for an A to be close with Z, well if they took another way, why not?

I went straight to my seat when I remembered why I came back. I tried to hide the annoyance in myself when I couldn’t find my earphones. As a sign of frustration and exhaustion, I tied my hair with my favourite scrunchie.

“Hey, what are you looking for?” The air brought the chocolate scent of his breath towards me as he spoke. I saw him drinking a chocolate bottle.

It wasn’t the first time I heard his soft voice, but it was the first time he ever talked to me.

Oh, wait, it’s the second time around. I remembered the first time was during our Religious class last month. Aae told me what I should do for our class project because he was our leader.

I don’t know what’s with me that he never bothered or at least tried to reach me out. It was kind of weird that I was the only one in class he’s not talking to.

Am I grumpy? Or, maybe he didn’t want to be close to me. Though, not a problem. I just felt awkward with the vibe and look he gave me.

“Oh, I lost my earphone,” I replied. “By any chance, have you seen it?”

“No,” he answered.

“Ah okay.” I nodded. “I’ll go ahead and look.” I pulled my backpack and walked behind him.

“Would you mind if I join you? I mean, help you?” He tilted his head. It was a gesture of his I recognized whenever he was thinking during class recitations.

He gazed at my puzzled look when he added, “Uhm well if it’s okay.”

“Ah no thanks, I’ll look for it myself. You should go home since it’s getting late.”

I hastily went out of the room.

I was too busy remembering the places where I could have dropped it, that’s why I didn’t notice him following me. It was when we’re already at the bleachers when I felt his presence. But, I decided to ignore him.

There was no trace of my earphone in the bleachers. I cursed at myself. I have had that earphone for a couple of years. I don’t have any spare because I felt like betraying it if I used another. It sounded crazy, yet when I have this thing, I would not look for another. I would have it for the rest of my life as long as it was not broken or lost.

It was a memoir from my brother who passed away. It was his last gift for me. We used it everytime we listened to our favorite songs, so I couldn’t ignore the fact that I lost it. It’s the only thing I have that is truly close to having my brother beside me.

“Did you find your earphones?”

The cold wind was blowing his curled bangs, and I saw the irritation as Aae tried to put them into place. I used to admire his curls since not all boys with waved hair could flaunt them well.

“Ah, no,” I answered. I’m not in the mood to talk, but I don’t want to be rude since he was the one making an effort to reach out.

“Hmm, how does it look?” he asked as he opened his bag. “Like this?”

“Hey, yeah,” I automatically answered.

Aae curled his lips. “Then, you can have it.” He gently pulled my hand. I jerked as our palms pressed against each other.

“But, this is not mine,” I protested.

“It’s yours. I found that during our sports class. Sorry if I made you look for it if I have it already.”

“No.” I shook my head. “This is not mine,” I insisted on giving it back to him, but he pushed my hand away.

“It’s yours. Believe me.” He placed his hand on both sides of his pocket. “Keep it and go home. It’s getting late. You’ll miss the bus. Take care!”

I was about to say something when he ran away. I stared at the earphone. I could say it’s mine. It’s like my customized earphone, but the letter engraved on the two sides of the ear pod said it was Aae’s.

There was some sort of miracle the next day, I wasn’t late. I was so early that when I went inside our room, only one student was sitting comfortably in his armchair. His eyes were closed while listening to my favorite song titled I swear this time I mean it.

It was Aae.

I nibbled my lower lip as I tried finding flaws in his features. His eyes and complexion were those of Chinese. From what I recalled in his introduction, he was also half-Chinese. But it was too ideal, I scolded myself a little for staring too much.

Waking up earlier than usual was not a waste, after all. My classmates were always talking about Aae being the first one to arrive in our class. I envied Aae. I wish to see the sunrise, but I choose sunset anytime.

“I believe you have something that’s mine, and I have something that’s yours. Care to exchange?” I greeted him with those words as soon as his hazelnut eyes met mine.

He raised an eyebrow. There was a mixture of puzzled amusement in his expression when he straightened up from his seat.

Why do I feel nostalgic with those pairs of eyes? Where could I’ve seen them?

The music over his phone continued to play as he spoke, “I don’t have yours, you have mine. How about you just keep it?” His breath smelled of chocolates. I playfully considered tasting it but realized it was out of my character.

“It’s yours from this day onwards.”

“I know it is just an earphone. No big deal,” I muttered. But, I was one of those people who cannot live without earphones or music to be exact. I used to count everything through songs. Songs are like my clock.

“I went to school this early to give it back to you, hoping you’ll have mine, and you’ll give it back,” I pleaded even if I wasn’t sure about it.

“How do you know I have your earphone? I’m actually giving mine to stop you from looking.” He seems annoyed.

“It’s important to me. It has value more than you think so if you have it -“

He cut me off. “I don’t have it. I saw you used it during sports class, so I assumed you lost it and I gave you my earphones hoping you wouldn’t notice the difference.”

“How will I not be able to notice your name engraved thereon?” I rolled my eyes out of annoyance.

“Just like you don’t notice me every day, Ms. Zamora,” he uttered as he turned off the music on his phone.

“Keep it until you find yours. I have another pair, so you don’t have to worry.” He tilted his head a little. “Someone told me we lost some things to welcome great beginnings.”

He stood from his seat. I had to lift my head a little as I leveled an inch below his broad shoulder. At a young age, he already developed a muscular body. He must be athletic. Oh, right! He plays baseball.

I was stunned for a moment when the aroma of sweets lingered around me, so it wasn’t only his breath. He must have bathed his cloth with chocolate fragrance.

Aae was halfway out when he stopped, and for the first time, he faced me with a beaming smile. “I never thought I could be the reason you’re not late. May I be the reason every day?” His chuckle echoed in the room.

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