BIG SHOT #1: RICKY

Big Shot #1: Ricky ❣ Chapter Four ❣

I will never forget

I stay still, just waiting until I’m calmed enough to drive.

After a few minutes, I inserted my key all the way into the ignition before I could change my mind.

I didn’t think. I just drive.

At nang makarating na ako sa destinasyon ko. I started to feel anxious again.

I shook my head and took a deep breath.

No! Not now Rain!

With a sigh, I hauled myself out of my car and walked towards the café.

As soon as I went inside, I scanned the room.

“Rain. Here!” A voice said not far away from the entrance.

I looked at her direction and caught her eyes.

Humakbang ako papalapit sa kinakaupuan nito at tipid tong nginitian. “Sorry, I’m late.” Hinalikan ko yung pisngi nito. “Something came up.”

I took the seat in front of her and stared at her face.

It’s been a little while since the last time I saw her.

Her face is still as innocent as I remember. Yung tipo na ang sarap-sarap protektahan.

We are so opposite like the moon and the sun.

Like Embry said, I look like a supermodel. I can make jeans and shorts look classy. Ako yung tipo ng tao na aakalain mo na laging laman ng bar.

Tin on the other hand, looks like a nun and a saint. Sya naman yung tipo ng tao na aakalain mo na laging laman ng simbahan.

I remember when I was a kid, I hated her sometimes for having an angelic face and stealing all of my crushes.

But I’m always the “favourite child” kaya na overcome ko din agad yung “inggit” ko na yon. Sooner than I thought.

And there are plenty of times na pumapasok sa isipan ko na may lihim tong galit sakin dahil laging ako yung pinapaburan ng mga magulang namin. Despite our appearances.

Come to think of it, lahat yata ng mga naging crush ko, naging bf nito.

The sound of Tin’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “It’s ok. This was a short notice anyway.” Sagot ni Tin habang tinutulak sa harap ko yung Frappuccino na nasa lamesa.

I grabbed the straw and took a sip.

I leaned against my seat habang patuloy lang ako sa pag sip-sip sa inumin ko. “So, why are you here again?” Tanong ko dito pagkatapos kong ma-satisfy sa pag inom.

Tin cleared her throat. She looks tense and anxious.

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Hey, are you all right?”

Tin waved her hand frantically. “I’m fine.” She paused. “So, how’s the new school?”

“Same old, same old.” I shrugged my shoulders. A smile formed on my lips nang maalala ko sila Embry at Natalie. “I already have friends.”

Tin gave me a small smile. “You’re good at making friends and you never have a problem blending in. You infect everyone. People swarmed around you like bees.”

Natawa nalang ako sa sinabi nito.

That’s not entirely true. I don’t really give a fvck what other people think about me. I stopped caring three years ago.

I’ve changed.

Pero hindi ko na yon sinabi pa dito.

“So, about your school…” Tin trailed off. She wring her hands and cracked her knuckles. Senyales na kinakabahan to.

I just stared at her face, waiting for her to continue.

More or less, meron na akong ideya sa gusto nitong pag usapan.

Tin’s actions already gave it away.

“You’re both attending the same university.” Mahina na pagpapatuloy nito.

I’m right. This “important talk” is gonna be about him.

I nodded my head. “I saw him.”

Mula sa lamesa, mabilis nitong nilipat yung mga mata nito sakin. “Really?” Gulat na sagot nito.

Again, I nodded my head for confirmation. “You want to talk about him?”

Nagtataka nga din ako at kung bakit hindi sa university na pinag aaralan nito, nag-aral si Ricky.

Tin gulped hard. Nakita ko din yung pamumula ng buong mukha nito.

“Yes.” Tin replied timidly.

I rested my elbow against the table and placed my chin in the palm of my hand. My heart is pounding. “Speak away.”

“I lied.” Tin took a deep breath. “Ricky and I had a relationship before.” Diretso at mabilis na pagpapatuloy nito na para bang kelangan na nyang sabihin sakin yung bagay na yon bago pa magbago yung isipan nito. She’s not looking at my direction. Nakatingin lang si Tin sa lamesa.

She was obviously nervous and scared about my reaction.

Pinuno ko ng hangin yung dib-dib ko. “I know.”

Gulat na nilingon ako nito.

Ngumiti ako ng mapakla kasabay nang pag sikip ng dib-dib ko. “I saw you and Ricky making out.” And I saw him sneaking out of your room, three days after the break up.

Yon yung isa sa mga rason kung bakit ako umalis. Kung bakit mas pinili ko na mag aral sa malayo at mag dorm kesa mag stay sa bahay at mag apply sa university na malapit.

Kung bakit mas pinili ko na hindi umuwi sa loob ng dalawang taon.

At kung bakit hanggang ngayon, hindi ko na to tinawag pang Ate.

I can’t emotionally and physically handle the pain. So, I ran away.

Tin gasped in shock and horror. Tinakpan nito yung bibig nito at tipong iiyak na.

“I’m sorry.” Nanghihina na usal nito.

Tumingin ako sa mga mata nito. “It’s fine Tin. Three years na yung nakalipas.” Your sorry is already three years late.

I asked her about Ricky before.

I want her to come clean and be honest with me.

I think I deserve that much.

But she flatly denied it.

She lied to me point-blank. If my heart is not breaking that time, I might give her a standing ovation. I never thought, she had it in her.

Looks really can be deceiving.

I shook my head. Walang maidudulot na mabuti, kung aalalahanin ko na naman yung nakaraan.

Napabuntunghininga nalang ako. “I already moved on.”

Nakita ko sa mga mata ni Tin yung pagsisisi. “Pero hindi ko pa rin dapat ginawa yon sayo.” May tumulo ng luha sa mga mata nito. “Naging mahina at makasarili ako. Ayokong maramdaman yung sakit kaya ikaw yung pinili kong masaktan. I’m so sorry Rain.” Humahagulgol nang paliwanag nito.

I smiled bitterly.

That’s true. Kung nagkapalit kami ng sitwasyon. I will never do that to her. I will never do that to my own sister. I will choose her!

Truth is, hindi ko naman aalukin na maging boyfriend si Ricky kung alam ko na kahit konti may pagtingin si Tin dito.

But what’s done is done.

That moment changed everything.

Our relationship will never be the same again.

I will never be the same again.

Again, I heaved a deep sigh. “I forgive you.” But I will never forget.

I know, dahil hanggang ngayon nakatatak pa rin sa isipan ko kung paano sila naghalikan ni Ricky sa may garden, dalawang araw pagkatapos akong iwan ni Ricky.

At kung paano ko nakita si Ricky na lumabas sa kwarto nito sa gitna ng gabi.

At kung paanong patuloy na nadurog yung puso ko sa mga nasaksihan ko.

And how much I questioned myself, kung ano bang problema o mali sa akin at nagawa nila sakin yon sa loob lang ng ilang araw.

Despite my heartache, I’m not really that against about their relationship. Ano bang magagawa ko kung sya yung mahal ni Ricky. But two freaking days??

That’s fvcking bullsh!t.

For three years, I couldn’t shake those images and thoughts out of my head.

The sight of them, kissing and making out were permanently etched in my mind.

I don’t think it will ever leave.

The feeling of being stabbed in the back by the people I love and trust.

I don’t think I will ever forget.

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